In an era of hand-wringing, skinny-jean wearing metrosexuals tooting around in microcars, the heart of the true man beats with a certain hairy happiness knowing that out along the boundaries of modern life there exists beasts such as the 2014 Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG Black Series.
This 2014 Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG Black Series is the fastest, non-track AMG car currently alive. In its chest chamber beats a 6.3-liter V8 that pumps out the power of 621 horses, nearly enough head that one could trade for the hand of the Emir’s daughter, you know, the one whose lips burn red hot like the magical coal at the end of a Padron Serie 1926 cigar that had been rolled upon the inner thigh of some nameless, yet nubile, Nicaraguan virgin back when men wore big boy pants and women knew they were women.
Though this Black Series animal is a reminder of a wilder, more masculine time, when it comes to speed it clearly lives in the present shooting from a dead stop to 60 miles per hour in well under four seconds. This car, this living thing, is so powerful and specialized that its very frame is attached to its heart with a gas-mounted strut to protect the two of them from the g-forced environment they live within.
